The past few weeks, I've not been myself. At least not my usual self. I'm the guy that smiles a lot, laughs a lot, and somehow manages to make others do the same. But I haven't really been that person in a while. I've been looking inward so much that I've forgotten about the person I like to be.
Who knows why things happen in life. We have so much control of some things, none over other things. Things just are. We just have to accept that which we cannot control and move on. I'm not saying there aren't things I can look at more closely about myself, and I will. But six weeks ago, I was still my jovial self. I miss that jovial, gregarious person I know I am. Any other behavior is contrary to my nature.

My friend Jessica says that things that happen to us, people we meet; each one serves a purpose in our life. there is a reason for each one. Maybe this one is meant to have me look inward right now. I'm doing that. And I'll keep doing it.

But at the same time, my friend Loretta, though offering her gracious support, also thinks I need the breathless laughter and adrenaline that only a roller-coaster can bring. And I whole-heartedly agree. There is such a freedom in that kind of laughter; one I haven't felt in a long time. And I want to be that person again.

I took the first step last night by watching a movie I've been told to see by virtually everyone I know: "Office Space". I certainly haven't laughed that much in weeks. I actually felt like my old self again.

It's not so much about finding yourself; it's just knowing who you want to be.